28 September 2024

Bedroom Cardio: Sex Positions That Double as Workouts

Megan

Who says you need a gym membership to stay in shape? It's time to cancel that overpriced fitness subscription and turn your bedroom into the hottest workout studio in town. Get ready to swap your protein shake for a post-coital glow with these sex positions that'll have you burning calories faster than you can say "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Why Bedroom Cardio is the Ultimate Workout

  1. Motivation on Tap: Let's face it, you're way more likely to stick to this routine than early morning jogs.

  2. Full Body Engagement: From your core to your... err, extremities.

  3. Improved Cardiovascular Health: Nothing gets the heart pumping like a good romp.

  4. Stress Relief: The best kind of endorphin rush.

  5. Strengthens Relationship: Couple goals and fitness goals in one sweaty package.

Warm-Up: Setting the Stage for Success

  1. Hydrate: Water bottles by the bed. Stay thirsty, my friends.

  2. Stretch: A little foreplay never hurt anyone.

  3. Mood Lighting: Dim enough to feel sexy, bright enough to see what you're working with.

  4. Soundtrack: Get that BPM up with some rhythm-appropriate tunes.

  5. Protection: Safety first! Both for your joints and... other things.

The Workout Plan: Sex Positions to Get You Fit

  1. The Squat Thrust

    • How to do it: Partner A stands, holding Partner B, who wraps their legs around A's waist. A squats up and down.

    • Muscles worked: Quads, glutes, core

    • Calorie burn: 200-300 per 30 minutes

    • Pro tip: Keep your core tight and back straight. It's all about form, baby.

  2. Plank Passion

    • How to do it: Partner A holds a plank position while Partner B lies underneath. Get creative with the rest.

    • Muscles worked: Core, arms, shoulders

    • Calorie burn: 150-250 per 30 minutes

    • Pro tip: Engage your core like you're expecting a punch of pleasure.

  3. Bridge to Bliss

    • How to do it: Partner A lies on their back, hips raised in a bridge. Partner B straddles them.

    • Muscles worked: Glutes, hamstrings, core

    • Calorie burn: 100-200 per 30 minutes

    • Pro tip: Squeeze those glutes like your orgasm depends on it (it might).

  4. Reverse Cowgirl Crunches

    • How to do it: Classic reverse cowgirl, but Partner B leans back, engaging core muscles.

    • Muscles worked: Core, quads, glutes

    • Calorie burn: 150-250 per 30 minutes

    • Pro tip: It's all in the bounce and grind. Think "sexy mechanical bull."

  5. Standing Split

    • How to do it: Both partners stand. Partner A lifts one of Partner B's legs, holding it up during penetration.

    • Muscles worked: Legs, core, balance

    • Calorie burn: 200-300 per 30 minutes

    • Pro tip: Use a wall for support. We're going for sexy, not slapstick.

HIIT (High Intensity Interval Thrusting)

For maximum calorie burn, try this HIIT routine:

  1. 2 minutes of passionate kissing (warm-up)

  2. 30 seconds of Squat Thrusts

  3. 15 seconds rest (or switch positions)

  4. 30 seconds of Plank Passion

  5. 15 seconds rest

  6. Repeat for 3-5 rounds

  7. Cool down with gentle Missionary (or collapse in a sweaty, satisfied heap)

Cool Down and Recovery

  1. Stretch it Out: A post-coital stretch feels amazing and prevents soreness.

  2. Hydrate: Replenish those fluids, champs.

  3. Snack Smart: A protein-rich snack helps muscle recovery. Bananas work well (and yes, that's what she said).

  4. Shower Together: Rinse off the sweat and start planning round two.

Tracking Your Progress

  1. Heart Rate: If you're not out of breath, you're not doing it right.

  2. Endurance: Going longer? You're getting fitter!

  3. Flexibility: Reaching new positions? That's progress, baby.

  4. Muscle Definition: Sex lines are the new tan lines.

Safety First: Avoid Bedroom Workout Injuries

  1. Know Your Limits: Not everyone is a sexual acrobat. Work up to the advanced moves.

  2. Communicate: "Ouch" is not a safe word. Unless it is. You do you.

  3. Stay Lubricated: In all the right places. Friction is not your friend here.

  4. Stable Surfaces: That kitchen counter might look inviting, but is it sturdy enough?

Take Your Bedroom Cardio to the Next Level with Bikini Sports

Want more steamy workouts to add to your sexual fitness routine? Check out our exclusive "Sexercise" series on the Bikini Sports website. Our expert trainers will guide you through pulse-racing routines that'll have you and your partner seeing gains in all the right places. With our HD videos, you'll catch every... thrust of proper form.

Remember, in the world of bedroom cardio, everyone's a winner. So flex those muscles, embrace the burn, and enjoy the most pleasurable workout of your life. Now drop and give me 20... minutes of uninterrupted passion!