27 March 2025

Talking About What You Like in Bed

Megan

Let’s face it—talking about sex can feel a little awkward, especially if you're not used to it. But being open and honest about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom is one of the best ways to have great sex. Good communication makes intimacy more satisfying and brings couples closer. If you’re struggling to express yourself, here’s a simple guide to confidently talk about what you like in bed.

1. Understand Why It’s Important

Talking about your sexual preferences isn’t just good—it’s essential. Clear communication makes sex better, reduces misunderstandings, and helps you build trust with your partner. Plus, it ensures you both get exactly what you want, rather than guessing or hoping your partner can read your mind.

Bottom line: If you want better sex, start talking about it.

2. Choose the Right Time

Timing matters when discussing intimate topics. Avoid bringing it up right after sex or when either of you is stressed. Choose a relaxed moment—maybe over dinner, during a casual walk, or when cuddling together.

How to start the conversation:

  • “Hey, there’s something I’ve wanted to talk about that I think will make our sex life even better.”

  • “I love being intimate with you and think it’d be fun to explore what we both enjoy more.”

Keeping the conversation casual and relaxed makes it easier for both of you.

3. Be Clear, Specific, and Positive

When discussing what you like, be clear and specific. Vague statements can lead to confusion. Instead of saying “I want something different,” explain exactly what you enjoy or want to try.

Try phrases like:

  • “I really enjoy it when you [specific action]. It feels amazing.”

  • “I’d love to try [new thing] with you—would you be into that?”

Always keep your tone positive, emphasizing what you do enjoy, rather than criticizing what you don’t.

4. Use “I” Statements

Avoid sounding critical by framing your desires as “I” statements. This makes your partner feel less defensive and creates a comfortable atmosphere for open dialogue.

Examples of good “I” statements:

  • “I feel really connected when you kiss me more slowly.”

  • “I’d love it if we spent more time on foreplay.”

Focusing on yourself rather than pointing fingers helps your partner feel safe and open to listening.

5. Ask Your Partner About Their Preferences

The conversation about sexual preferences shouldn’t be one-sided. After sharing your likes, give your partner the chance to express theirs. This builds mutual understanding and creates an even better connection.

Good questions to ask:

  • “What do you like most in bed?”

  • “Is there something you’ve been curious about trying?”

  • “Are there things we do that you’d like to do more of?”

Active listening shows you value their input, too.

6. Be Open to Experimentation

Sharing your likes is great, but also be open to trying new things your partner suggests. Being open-minded strengthens trust and keeps your sex life exciting.

Simple tips for exploring:

  • Start slowly with new ideas

  • Agree on clear boundaries before trying anything new

  • Regularly check in about how it’s feeling for both of you

Exploration keeps intimacy fresh and satisfying.

7. Offer Positive Feedback in the Moment

Don’t wait until later to tell your partner when something feels great. Giving feedback during sex lets your partner know they’re doing something right and encourages them to continue.

Simple in-the-moment phrases:

  • “That feels really good.”

  • “Keep doing exactly what you’re doing.”

  • “I love that—don’t stop.”

Real-time feedback boosts your partner’s confidence and enjoyment.

8. Normalize the Conversation

Talking openly about sex shouldn’t be a one-time thing. Make discussing intimacy a regular part of your relationship, and it’ll start feeling natural, not awkward. Regular communication helps you both adapt to each other’s evolving needs and desires.

Tip:
Check in regularly: “How are you feeling about our sex life lately? Anything you want more of?”

Making sexual communication a habit creates deeper intimacy and trust.

 

Final Thoughts: Keep It Relaxed and Honest

Good sex isn’t just physical—it comes from honest, clear communication about your desires and boundaries. When you talk openly about what you like, you build trust, intimacy, and create a deeper connection with your partner. So start the conversation, be clear about your needs, and watch your sex life transform for the better.

Remember: the more comfortable you become talking about sex, the better the experience will be for both of you.