12 September 2024

The Ultimate Texting Field Guide: 21 Killer Responses to Common Girl Texts

21 Smooth Responses to Keep Her Texting Back

Alright, gents. You’ve mastered the art of starting conversations, but what happens when she throws you a curveball? Fear not, digital Don Juans. Here’s your cheat sheet of 21 smooth responses to common texts from women. Keep these in your back pocket, and you’ll never be left on “read” again.

1. She texts: “What are you up to?”

You: “Just finished saving the world. You know, typical Tuesday. How about you?”

2. She says: “I’m bored…”

You: “Hi Bored, I’m [Your Name]. Now that we’re introduced, how do you usually un-bore yourself?”

3. She asks: “Tell me something interesting about yourself.”

You: “I can lick my elbow. Okay, lie—but I do make a mean grilled cheese. Want the secret ingredient?”

4. She asks: “What are you looking for on here?”

You: “Someone to debate me on pineapple pizza. Pro or con?”

5. Late-night: “You up?”

You: “Nope, this is my sleep-texting alter ego. He’s way funnier.”

6. She says: “I had a really bad day.”

You: “Scale of stepping on a Lego to finding out women’s jeans have fake pockets—how bad?”

7. She teases: “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

You: “Nah, my best lines are reserved for poodles at the dog park.”

8. She asks: “Why haven’t you texted me?”

You: “I was crafting the perfect text—Shakespeare, emojis, cheese history. My editor cut it.”

9. She asks: “Where is this going?”

You: “Well, I was thinking pizza for dinner. But I’m open to suggestions.”

10. She asks: “Do you think I’m pretty?”

You: “Nah, you’re a total goblin. That’s why I can’t stop staring at your pics.”

11. She hints: “I’m free this weekend…”

You: “What a coincidence, so is the new Marvel movie. Sounds like fate.”

12. She asks: “What do you think about [controversial topic]?”

You: “On a first date? Bold. Let’s warm up with: is a hot dog a sandwich?”

13. She says: “My ex used to…”

You: “Let me stop you there—I’ve got a strict no-time-travel dating policy.”

14. She says: “I don’t usually do this, but…”

You: “Good news—I won’t tell the Usually Do This Committee. Secret’s safe.”

15. She asks: “What are you wearing?”

You: “Cape and cowl. Laundry day.”

16. She says: “I can’t figure you out.”

You: “That’s fine—I came without instructions. Keeps it interesting.”

17. She says: “You’re such a player.”

You: “Only at Scrabble. And I usually lose to my grandma.”

18. She asks: “Why are you still single?”

You: “I was waiting for you to ask me that, obviously.”

19. She asks: “Do you think my friend is hot?”

You: “Didn’t notice. Your radiance blinded me.”

20. She says: “I think we should talk…”

You: “Perfect. I’ve been dying to debate if cereal counts as soup.”

21. She texts: “So…”

You: “So… is this where we plan our elaborate heist? I call dibs on charming distraction.”

Final Word

These responses are your toolkit, not a script. The real key is authenticity—read the vibe, keep it playful, and know when to drop the phone and suggest meeting in real life.

Now go forth and text, you smooth operators. May your wit be sharp and your autocorrect forgiving.